the lost soul

chase the evening rays

2011-03-27T00:31:00.001-07:00

somedays i chase,
chase the evening rays

like the blue birds in the western sky,
on open roads, i try to fly,

flirting with the breeze, it kisses my face,
i talk to the birds, the ones i race,

slowly slowly i loose them into the setting sun,
so i slow down to admire the tangerine colored one,

but it keeps moving, dipping down and down,
as if signalling me to head back to town,

so i think for a while and hit the brake,
coming to a halt besides a small calm lake,

i then hop onto the bonnet of my scarlet car,
and sit there to wait for my next friend, the pole star

but the travelling clouds seem to have other plans,
they play out the drums to the tune of a rain dance

and the orange sky slowly grows dark and hazy,
like the million thoughts driving me crazy,

but i think i love it, i aint complaining,
cause i can smell the sweet sand as it starts raining,

so i get drenched dancing as long as i can
and head back to town, a washed out, satisfied man

and though often in my home i sit and laze,
but then there are those days when i chase,
chase the evening rays

yesterday night

2011-03-01T06:24:00.000-08:00

yesterday night was the night to fulfill your dreams

yesterday night while the moon shown like the sun all bright

sleeping on the bed you locked your mind in space

feeling safe behind the veil of ignorance

but then, the time still was flying

the clock in your mind was just lying

now that the sun is about to break its shackles

and the moon has almost lost its face

there ain't much left to change

all you can do is curse the night gone by

thinking why did you hide, why didn't you fight,

when all along you knew you were anyways gonna die

yesterday night

Of Good Byes and Good lucks

2010-09-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

Of Good Byes and Good lucks

May be its about saying goodbyes

Or the feeling that lingers of loosing old ties

But I wish these be just momentary feelings

'cause soon you'll be happier with new found wings

Though there is no reason that I can define

Just a sad feeling in the back of my mind

And deep down I wish that tomorrow is brighter

And soon this heavy heart will grow lighter.

Good byes I know are always hard,

So I'll instead go with good lucks, that feel good,

And I'll raise this toast to all the old times

When despite situations, together we stood.

loosing the strength

2010-09-16T03:39:00.000-07:00

One hand on her head
And the other rests by her waist
She seems about to cry
cursing this life she's got herself into
But I can for sure tell her that
She ain't got it wrong,
not then, not now
Cause I have seen it all, and i know
The strength in her eyes
And no I can't see her break down
not this way, not right now

I know it's easier to run away
Than to stand here waiting for things to change
But i too feel unsure
About her and about this moment
Cause this could be all in my mind
All my imagination
And she could just be tired
And needs some warmth, a place to rest

But then I have never seen her so frail
never so broken down in her eyes
And just wish to say
You know we have seen better days together
though tonight's not one of them
And i just want to say, hold on to me
and we will get over this one as well

One more time (redux)

2010-04-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

Converted one of my poems to a song (composed by Shravan, and video editing by Ankit) and did a quick video with my Nikon Coolpix :)

you sang the song always so fine,

but I struggled hard to strum the rhyme

you danced with me and you danced so fine,

but I missed the beat almost each time

and I thought you were so over my line

no matter how I try you’d never be mine

but I never read, never read the subtle sign

so I drew it thick and never crossed the line

o its been, so long long a time

counting stars, on the empty beaches lying

o its been, so long long a time

since I saw your, nose ring shine

Na na naa nana naaa na na na

when I look behind, dark shadows I find

those moment remind, wish i’d read your mind

i ask your god, for one more chance

to rewind , and stop the time

so I can say, lady, will you dance with me,

leaving reasons behind, just for moments time,

so I can tell you lady, I never stopped trying,

give me a chance, just one more time

o its been, so long long a time

counting stars, on empty beaches lying

o its been, so long long a time

since I saw your, nose ring shine

Na na naa nana naaa na na na

and suddenly

2010-03-05T18:12:00.000-08:00

and suddenly when the rain pours down on a burning day,
or from nowhere the sun breaks out to light up a dark foggy way,

suddenly when sometimes a smile sneaks in into a heated debate,
or when things just fall in place, solving puzzles after a hard long day,

suddenly I remember all those trans formative moments,
when everything changes in a sudden,
bringing along a rush of feelings,
and a sudden change in meanings ..

i raise this toast to that instant feeling of change,

...... to suddenness

happy ol' days

2010-01-10T17:34:00.001-08:00

sun rays on my face ...
life at a slow pace ...
ah i so hated that race ...
but then who cares,

when its back to the happy ol' days.

hain tayyar hum

2009-12-29T21:58:00.000-08:00

hai tayaar hum fir se lagta hai,
duniya ke dastooron se ladne ko
jeene ko, marne ko,
haan fir kuch naya karne ko

bird in the wide world

2009-10-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

such a big wide world

n you cant even hide bird

have you ever lied bird

can you even try bird

wide wide wide world

prisoner of your pride bird

did you even hear my word

let me tell the truth bird

you aint the only one bird

red bird white bird

you're just part of the herd

2009-07-29T05:47:00.000-07:00

tera milna bhi ektafak tha,

to bichadne pe kya gum karein

safar main sangraahi the kuch der ke ,

unse naata bana ke bhi ab kya hum karein

aaj jo aaj main jeeta hoon,

usse kal ko ab qurbaan kya hum karein

kismat

2009-07-28T05:09:00.000-07:00

itna bhi na kismat pe tu aitbaar kar
ki kal ki thokar ko tu seh na sake

khud pe itna bhi gumaan na kar
ki kal, khud ke wajood se hi naata mil na sake

in ankhon ke sapno pe aitbaar bas itna kar
ki tu bhadh chale zamane se aage,
par bin apno ki duaayein bhoolkar

i am the conflict

2009-06-23T02:17:00.001-07:00

i am the confusion in clarity, the routine in irregularity
the meaness in charity, the sober in vanity,

i am the love in hatred, the pervert in sacred,
the truth in the lies, the wicked in the wise

i am the meaning in chaos, the rebel from ethos
the method in the madness, the joy in sadness

i am the loneliness in success, the freedom in duress,
the pain behind the laughter, the satisfaction of the destructor

i am tangled emotions n bungled ambitions
the cog in the wheel or the god in every deal,

i am the patient contributing to creation,
the materialist wishing for salvation

i am 'the lost soul' in this 'connected world'

To Open Source and Evangelism

2008-09-01T05:09:00.000-07:00

Let’s open our eyes, to the visions of future
Unleash our instincts and be free to venture
Let’s get over the endless fear of defeat
And leave behind the tradition of conceit

Let’s listen to each voice, within and without,
‘Cause those real gems, they rarely shout.
Let’s for once walk over the rough terrain of noise,
To find that rare gem, the beautiful voice.

Come let’s a part of this ideological revolution
An honest attempt to fuel our evolution.
And let's join hand to nurture this belief
That we were not born just to compete.

Missing you

2008-03-21T07:55:00.003-07:00

getting soaked to the skin
just to remind am still living.
it has been so long, so very long,
the slow dances and the lovely rain song.

i miss the naughty smile
of childhood innocence it would remind,
and i miss the soft hands that held me tight
when nothing else in the world felt right.

ever since you left this life,
and took away all things bright,
i cry and i cry each night
just to feel,
and feel just a bit all right.

Belief

2008-01-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

Look up at the sky
to discover a belief to live by,

the belief in the truimph of reason
and belief in the human soul,
the belief in simplicity of truth
and belief in the fluidity of right,
the belief in love of life
and belief in a future bright,

how ever far away from the shore
the sky shall always guide the belief,
and we shall always remain survivors,
survivors in the battles with unknowns

Time to be happy again

2007-07-15T03:37:00.000-07:00

Wake up people, lets go insane,
put on the dancing shoes, lets go out in the rain,

time to set this life to music again,
let the chords we lost resonate once again,

come lets fly and free all chains,
the wind shall flow favorable again,

we'll bury the past, be happy again,
this one life we'll no more live in vain,

come on people lets board a fantasical train
lets travel around n spread smiles all over again

Unforseen

2007-07-07T23:39:00.000-07:00

people drowning all around
from a mountain you watch alone,
the sky is all smoked up
raining black drops hitting you like stone.

at a distance your children
are drowning without a struggle,
hapless you stand
there is nothing you could do.

its then finally that you try to think
what have i done
where have i come
this wasn't how i thought it would end.

another chance is all you want
to relive the life and clean up this mess,
another life to give up the greed
to live with only that you really need,
to give back to this earth
all you shamelessly sucked out of her womb.

you shout out loud looking up at the sky
and remember for the last time your forgotten God.

darkness ... silence ...
moments so full of nothingness ...

then a streak of light
it brightens up the room,
fresh air around
brings back the missing life,
the koel singing on the window sill
just stops for a moment to make you realize.

loud you laugh
"oh ! it was just another dream".

waking up from a bad dream
how does it feel to be back again?
you needed to be shook up
to be woken up to realities unforseen,
all that you have and all you have dreamed
is about to be washed to shores unknown.

the bad dream is over
but don't rejoice
'cause you still got some time
to make your choice
you have promses to keep
to all those you saw there weep,
wake up this time
this dream might not be a dream next time.

Speed

2007-05-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

Speeds are goals meant to be achieved ...
and blockades in the path are just there to impede ...
At all times that we exceed ...
there's somthing that makes sure we receed ...

We fall ... We rise ...
but remember, its just another of those tries,
an attempt to reach new Highs,
to play hide and seek with that element of surprise.

Make sure you never lose the greed ...
that in your heart always takes a lead ...
'cause this life is all about the deed ...
and the the struggle in you will always breed ...
till the moment you are freed of this cycle of speed...

Those Nine Seconds of perpetual Insanity...

2007-05-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Those Nine Seconds of perpetual Insanity...

a burning urge to challenge conformity...
a throttle to rev the engine of ability ...
faint voices in the background, of timidity ...
intermitent thoughts of decisional duality ...
but then a moment of ultimate clarity ...
bringing back the emotional solidarity ...

Those Nine Seconds of perpetual Insanity...

finally the launch into wilderness of the impending calamity ..
the gradually growing understanding of life's triviality ...
preceding the dawn of the world's eternal verity ...

Those Nine Seconds of perpetual Insanity...

the silent landing followed by a return to sanity ...
no feeling, but an immediate loss of all physicality ...
the end of the insane voyage staring at the disfigured face of reality ...

Those Nine Seconds of perpetual Insanity...

Irony

2007-05-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

You fly the night skies,
but dream of land the horizon beholds.

I lie on this land forever attached,
but dream to someday fly free in the clouds.

This life is a tale full of irony,
yet we keep our fingers crossed,
waiting,
just waiting to be surprised.

Tomorrow Haunting

2007-04-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

Its here, its now, staring me on my face,
i never realized, but it has changed shapes,
the tomorrow i distanced from,
is finally here to haunt.

No warnings, no preparations,
how could it come without anticipation,
surrounding me like smoke,
as if waiting for me to choke.

Where is my sweet dream, that i slept over last night,
and where is my past, that i knew when i was awake last.
and where are you, my comrades in crime,
why cant i find you as i seek out your hand.

Lost, all lost, here i stand,
nothing around can i understand,
the world i knew has moved on,
and i am here to face this alone.

2007-04-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

Farewell

It doesn’t happen often,

but for some reason i cried last night.

For that one moment i hated you,

and all the migratory birds i have ever met,

'cause they just fly away, one fine day.

Life goes on, time moves on,

and tomorrow the sun will shine bright as ever,

but this night is long, and dark for sure,

the tides are running high, the winds are blowing strong

windows flutter, the doors bang wild,

and often at night i run to latch 'em up,

to stop the memories from flooding in again.

Dear friend, I wish you to know,

that you leave behind a heavy heart and numb eyes,

and in the corridors of this heart,

will echo your laughter for days to come.

Though i know i'll get over it,

but for a long time i'll miss the fun,

i'll miss the shots, the drunken gossips,

the forever falling dancer, the forever smiling joker.

Dear friend,

i bid you farewell,

i wish you luck,

and lots of love that'll last you the lifetime.

The Children of God

2007-03-31T10:26:00.000-07:00

every night as i sleep,
their faces, innocent faces,
they come back to me....
those deep eyes, they stare at me,
and they seem to ask,
who took, took away
my share of sunshine,
who took, took away
my share of smiles....

why is it this way i live,
whose share of misery,
do i bear and cry,
whose share of pain,
do i continue to sustain....

we....we're the children of God, they say,
yet why did he treat us so different....

time...time they say is a healer,
but their wounds they are getting deeper....
tears...the tears have dried up,
and their vision is so blurred....

till when, till when will we sleep,
its time we open our eyes to see,
its time to feel, for once to be real,
its time we give 'em a chance
chance to bask in the sun,
bring 'em back the innocent time,
their share of sunshine,
their share of smiles,
'cause we're all children of God,
and for sure his creation cannot be flawed.

You catch me on the wrong foot

2007-03-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd say,
this is end of it all, never do i wish to see you again,
but then you smile, and in your trap i begin to fall again,
i can only see as you cast your magic spell,
the heart melts heart away,
and you catch me on the wrong foot again.

The right time

2007-03-27T00:22:00.000-07:00

Should have jumped off the plane that day,
'cause never were we so high ever again,
When i look back, thats my only regret,
'cause otherwise life has been fine,
but then i thought i missed the right time,
to have escaped this earth's gravity,
and to be in that state,
forever in outer space.

The Mad Man

2007-03-20T22:49:00.001-07:00

I sit here alone,
surely not lonely though,
besides the placid lake,
that murmurs as its waves flow,
the darkness here,
it takes away my ego,
and the silence around,
inspires me to think.

Its here that i shake off the mask i carry all day long,
its here in the reflection i find my true being,
its here i am at peace,
in complete unison with the other self.

Each night its here i sit,
trying to answer questions of life,
while the world sleeps sound,
i try to find the direction of right.

And though often you'll hear people say,
a mad man sits besides the lake each night,
holding a candle that burns bright,
now you know the truth alright,
its my Self,
that spreads around the incandescent light.

About to be

2007-01-30T07:18:00.000-08:00

am the first drop of water
that ushers the rain

am the champagne bottle
waiting years just for that celebration

am the heart beat you skipped
when you were 'bout to be kissed

am the unborn child in the mothers womb
waiting to see the evil ways of the world

am the dark hazy sky
just before the sun reveals it all

am last piece
of the unsolved puzzle

am the moment of creation,
the feeling of anticipation.

The Divine Lady ( version 2)

2006-08-21T05:12:00.000-07:00

the moonlight smile that brightens every face,
unknowingly, renders me sleepless for days,

the whiskey sopped eyes, the shy gaze,
time and again they besot me,
leaving behind a romantic haze,

the honey filled voice lacing each word,
flows out in a slow rhythemic pace,
conducting the orchestra as my heart plays.

lady i confess,
in these moments of craze,
i can spend my life writing paeans,
admiring your lovely ways,
and some day you'll look back, divine lady,
is all this connoisseur ever prays.

My divine lady

2006-08-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

the moonlight smile that brightens every face,
unknowingly, renders me sleepless for days,

the whiskey sopped eyes, the shy gaze,
time and again they besot me,
leaving behind a romantic haze,

the honey filled voice lacing each word,
flows out in a slow rhythemic pace,
conducting the orchestra as my heart plays.

lady i confess, in these moments of craze,
ever since i have known your lovely ways,
this slave of your divine beauty, always prays,
someday in faraway dreamy place,
together we'll live and spend peaceful days,
watching our children play under the sun's rays.

The last painting...

2006-07-31T04:36:00.000-07:00

Paintings on the undulating canvas of time, I often make,
sketched by my flikering imagination,
and colored by visions of love filled times.

Plunges into the ocean of fantasies, I often take,
realizing that beyond this dimension i see,
there lies that dimension i can always create.

One of these days, I wish it were all real,
the dolphins swimming across the horizon,
the heavenly clouds wispering rain songs,
and the ocean water colored in crystal greens,
all for me, and for my love
in whose arms i lay,
in the sands of the golden beach,
gaze for gaze,
breath for breath,
we are one,
like the setting sun mating with passionate waves
under the blanket of the evening sky.

One of these days, I wish it were all real,
no longer then would i fly into star filled night,
and this dream will never break,
as i wish i'll never wake.

Orkuttan Shayari

2006-06-30T05:56:00.000-07:00

yaad kaabhi humari tumeh aati nahi...
aur bhool hum kabhi tumeh paate nahi...
daudti bhagti iss zindgani mein..
kabhi purane logon ko bhi yaad kar liya karo..
mail na sahi kabhi kabhi scrap hi maar diya karo!!

To the bekaam people of iGMS

2006-06-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

arz hai.....
bekaam aap the,
toh hume bhi bekaam maan baithe,
server start hone waale time ko,
free time maan baithe.
Par ab jab ki the server is up,
I think it is time for us to shut up.
Guzarish hai yeh aapse,
ki ab kaam aap bhi kar le,
apna na sahi thoda igms ka hi udhar kar de.

The fleeting feeling

2006-06-01T06:24:00.002-07:00

So close, but so fleeting,
the feeling was deepening,
digging wells deep into the soul,
revealing to me my innermost self.
Soaked in joy, of the sweetest music,
i let it dig;
deeper and deeper it went along,
and revealed to me all,
the most intimate chords of life.
Until the one time, when,
through holes left unfilled in the concious,
it flowed out to another land, another soul,
leaving behind empty grounds,
naked chords, strummed around by the devilish winds,
all a cacaphony, all companied by unbound pain,
and so deep had it gone, there was no espace,
the graves had been dug, by the winds of time,
and the only escape was peace,
and so i went to sleep in deeps of my own.

daastan, kal raat ke khwaab ki

2006-05-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

Dastak di hawaaon ne humare darwaaje pe,
par hum be akal usse paigaam samajh baithe unka,
daude chal diye hum unke nishaan dhoonte dhoonte,
bekhabar raste pade kankad aur kaanton ke,
haanfte haanfte pahunche toh dekha,
woh toh mere khaabon ki duniyaa ke paar jaa chuki thi,
nadi wahi thi, par woh maahi kissi aur ko bannaa chuki thi.

I wish to fly

2006-05-14T03:14:00.000-07:00

I wish to fly in the open sky,
to be a spirit floating unbound.
I wish to bask in sun's glory,
to create my own sweet little story.

I wish to fly to meet my lady love,
who peeks at nights from behind the smokey clouds.
I wish to be like the winds of the North,
which flow directinless and yet
no one dares asks them"where do you head for".

Life after death

2006-02-02T06:14:00.000-08:00

The beauty of the orgasm,
of the ecstacy lies in the feeling of waitlessness,
in the mystery of the world between the real and the unreal,
between the concious and the unconcious.

When the world no longer makes sense,
life or death makes no difference
'cause the concious have given up and the unconcious is takin over.
It is at this point, standing on the edge,
the edge of a tall unknown building...
a momentary lapse of reason....and death.

But then the person dying knows not,
if he's dead or alive.

Many such deaths have come and gone by
and life look more beautiful the next day.
The sun still rises, but i see it in a newer glory.
The birds i never heard, sing a symphony just for me.
People around me suddenly start glowing,
i see them not as the physical but as a bundle of ever flowing thoughts.

So then i realize that u can view ur life in 2 ways...
either live ur life as the life after u are dead....
or live it as the life after u escaped death....

And u'll realize that death, as we percieve it doesn't exist.

A moment of pause

2006-02-01T05:31:00.000-08:00

Deep breath....
a moment of pause

any last thoughts
your only chance boy,
so speak.

It was like falling from the heavens
to the depths of the oceans

a neverending fear of the impending
a unfinished moment in time
an incomprehensibility,
No pain can be greater than this pain I experience
No orgasm can bring a greater joy

I felt time, fastest and the slowest at the same instant
and then time stopped
Silence was the only noise i could hear
And then it too was gone.

I left behind the thought,
my mind no longer experienced the outside
It created a new unconflicting world of its own.
And in that world i foated around like a free bird
unaware unconcerned

Peaceful
Supreme.

Strange thoughts

2006-02-01T05:13:00.000-08:00

Strange are the thoughts, they at times make no sense.....
they come and go at their own good wish...leaving behind trails-memories, philosophers and mad men.

Dreams are no less strange....most make no sense the very next moment.

In one such dream
I watched Spain go up in flames,
I saw the spanish cry for rains,
I watched all beauty meet the destined end..
and then came a gust of air to take me to another world faraway...

I met Kant on my walk that evening,
and i saw the image of Julie floating in the air.

I saw a bird clipped of its wings
Crying in memory of the lost past,
and then it was smiling...
having discovered the joy of philosophy.

I travelled the world,
I travelled in space and time
But then I always found myself facing
the same old window of my house
at the end of time.

River of Life

2005-12-19T23:22:00.001-08:00

The more i live,
the more i distance myself from my own soul....

The river is still flowing
but now it flows on a straighter course.
It's left behind its meandering ways,
the beautiful time of it's nascent days.

The time when it never could understand
the purpose of the boulders,
blocking its path and making it explore newer lands.

Older now,
its finding the answers
and it misses the boulders
who has have left an impression on it's shapeless soul.

But what it fears is not the present
but the future that approaches it slowly but surely.

Soon it will merge with conscience of the ocean,
and therefore it wonders
'did I really live this life
or shall I die without a trace.

Was I just a moment in time,
or was I that shapeless soul of my imagination
or was i nothing just a physical being
without a purpose or need to be?'

gr8 article on open source and blogging

2005-08-23T05:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.paulgraham.com/opensource.html

2005-08-12T06:50:00.000-07:00

Trying for the trail to work .............

Lets see if it makes sense....

lost in thought,
in undefined territories,
undefined to make me think?
to make me feel a self within
make faith the thread of life
faith in the rising sun
in the twinkling stars of the night sky

will continue some other time..................

think 3d

2005-08-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

Had this software introduction session at IDC

Man this software has amazing 3d cababilities....
combine Alias and Pro e and u may get think 3D....

Very impressive......only led me think

" The more we make processes break into logical steps....
The more we may be heading towards being ruled by the machines"

Just a thought....................

Will write back...have an afternoon session to attend....

Speaking Tokens

2005-08-05T04:52:00.000-07:00

Well, today at the coffee shop IIT campus, I bought a token for coffee and gave it at the food counter....The waiter there asked me whether i wanted hot or cold coffee but being lost as ever i didn't hear.....frustrated he, interestingly put the token near his ear like an earphone and said only if the token could have spoken the order on its own.
This remark set me on a trail of thoughts...
His was a perfectly valid innovation....Speaking Menus could actually be a reality...

Think of this scenario....
A restaurant for couples...where they come for privacy ....

Each table is designed that has integrated menu cards or some interesting way of prenting food...(we'll discuss this some other day)
Like suppose u have a choice of virtual characters from whom u can chose ...
whether u want donald duck as the waiter or sherkhan or may be even Sharukh khan ehheh..

Once chosen these virtual chartacters will help u plan ur meal and make the occasions special with there humour or trivea they have to share with u.
This may be a service in conjugation with the existing human waiter system as some people might wish to have that human feel to it.....or might not wish to have any thing...

and these could even help u when u wish to propose to ur Gf. hehehe

And obviously these characters would be gr8 when u are lonely...but they need to have atleast slight amount of intelligence and we don't mind if they are actually controlled by humans at the back end
anyways in a different situation there could only be speaking tokens...which carry orders ...
from the tables to the kitchen...

So then people would say 'get me Star Wars experience'(or may be a Sahara desert experience) intead of 'bring me a south india thali'.

Now we could also chuck this character thing and think only ni terms of tokens lying on the table which are nothing but voice recorders....used as a medium of sending correct info to the Chef....

Actually i need more time to build a more elaborate thing......will come back with later ...

Isn't that a perfect flight

2005-08-05T01:54:00.000-07:00

The pose gives a feeling of…

being in flight like a bird

balance

a perfect landing about to happen

peace

perfection

smoothness

the posture of the hands are adding to the feel factor
( the balance……..horizontal …motion
vertical……..stability )

cruising

Since the man is facing the left….

there is a feeling of movement

the upward pointing left foot toe adds to the feeling

it seems to be the highest point of the trajectory

But there is still something that i am missing out ...why is it so perfect?

Reason and Emotion ( don't read big time crap)

2005-07-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

I really remember the times when we used to drink......well most of the times i used to be sitting somewhere in the corner and listening to people ..... hardly uttering a word .... but then there was something that was amusing .... probably the sense of belonging, of feeling in love with all these guys.... that rush of emotions where u wish to cry on leaving someone .....
the storm within .....

the storm within .....

what am i ....

am i what u make me or am i that which exist on the contradiction to ur views....
what is it that makes me feel so heavy ....so close to myself...
In these moments of emotional outpour....i feel closer ot myself....
that this is what i am ......i experience myself in all its purity...where there is no explanation needed..no logic...everything s driven on its own ....by something within me...
This heaviness....u feel like crying but ur happy....
u feel like living it forever.....its like an orgasm which u wish it could prolong.... but alas everything has to last
and so does ur connection to yourself.

Explanation ...why do i have to explain thing to myself?
if i take this thing out of my life i can probably remain in state of perpetual ecstasy.

Why find a reason.....
when u know that ur better off without one.....

the integration it bring about in ur body .....
U feel it wishing to burst out....the emotion
but the pressure it applies on ur body is what brings about the pleasure....
the fact that u know it cant break out....
the fact that u fear it would burst...and u would go insane forever...

Pain ... Love ... Feeling ... Thought ... Light ...

Don't reason... cause some things are just meant to BE.

New Time Found

2005-07-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

sometimes life just spring gr8 surprises and u are not sure how to handle them......
well suddenly i have more time to do something..........as the wipro joining date has been postponed to somewhere in october.....
now the quetion is what am i supposed to do these two new coool months time that has been created.........
seems I have some more time for the designer in me :D.

what could be the best use.........

travelling extensively???
working on a gr8 project....
give GRE???
go for a foriegn internship(the time is less for that it seems)
create a super cool portfolio?
start free lancingg?

OR

Get ready for tangible interaction design ? hehehhe

Stay Hungry Stay Foolish

2005-07-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

SOURCE: http://tbsh.blogspot.com/

This is very inspiring. Read on............

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

2005-07-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.cooper.com/content/company/careers.asp

WE'RE SEARCHING FOR WORLD-CLASS DESIGNERS.Cooper's design consultants are seasoned veterans. They understand complex systems-software-enabled or otherwise-and how and why people interact with them. They are intimately familiar with product design and software development processes. Quite simply, they live to make technology make sense. Does this sound like you?

............................................................................................................................................
now does the wipro decision make more sense??
................................................................................................................................................

a company base on te cooper style is posssible? what say ya?

2005-07-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

hey found a cool place ....interaction design happens here.....

http://www.cooper.com

The first karting experience

2005-07-07T11:41:00.000-07:00

hmmmmmmm.......was pretty cool right .... 1st the others in the cast of the day

Bought Jonathan Livinston Seagull.( loking forward to reading it tonight)

Talked to binni and nanni mausi : Long time talked to binni mausi and was gr8..
arre yaar by the ay yaad aya maine abhi tak jaggu chacha ki beti nahi dekhi hai.

abbe that reminds me kal chotte chahcha ko bhi phone karna hai.

see offed Tabitha.....athu sir gave a small treat at nescafe.She'll be back on 20th.

found a cool blogger ... http://www.livejournal.com/~emiliew/

Kewl Designer...
she had done one of these....
reminded me of the suglism group on orkut.

this is what she's written in her orkut thing:
((((i thought i had passions...
...then I got a job and suddenly life was extremely boring.
"A steady salary is an invitation to mediocrity."
I'm starting to agree.)))

I am rethinking my job stuff.

This is more of her thing...

<<<<<<<<<

Never forget your dreams and goals in life. They are easily overshadowed by - your own, and others - wants and needs. Don't forget your point, purpose, or self ..and always deticate time to your hobbies.. if you don't have any may i suggest www.phidgets.com as a start ..
_________________________________

"This heart within me I can feel, and I judge that it exists.
This world I can touch, and I likewise judge that it exists.
There ends all my knowledge, and the rest is construction."
--Albert Camus

"We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact."
--Jean-Paul Sartre

"Being cannot be grasped through rational thought and perception, but only through personal existence."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes you arbitarily find people on the net u just feel are inspiring.......she for some reason is inspiring....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

found new removable platter thing in the printer for the ECG project.

And finaaly the karting....

First of all it was very short....by the time i felt i was really speeeding up .... it was over....
But the urge for more remains.

Vns overtook me before the end of the first lap...
and by the way it cost each of us 160 bucks for 6 laps ..prettty expensive eh..

got a best timimg of around 34 secs while vns had a best of 31.......
But the probles mostly was the S curve.....I used to stop there to turm while i found out in the last lap that i could have done with some amount of speed there.....
The steering and the brakes were far away frm the body...

anyways in all was a nice experience ... never felt i did as many as 6 laps..( 4 mins).

Had dinner at Radha krishna outside IITb.....and pastry at monginis...

rest nothing much that i remeber more of the day .. am going to start Seagull...

hnnn....rememberd...started a new community at orkut.....Indian Design Forum...
with only 2 members.

Khitiz Gupta being the other....

presentation to the biosentry guy

2005-07-06T02:41:00.000-07:00

The pune guy was pretty happy.........gr8 lunch.........and the discussion of
Indian Design....

Pretty cool day till now....gives me reason to think why don't i stay here longer??

anyways........
willl be going to Pune in Athu's car ....cool ...seems the mumbai pune express way is real sexy during he monsoons..... looking forward to it....

Lesson of the day....
Go for small manufactures and innovators like the biosentry guy, if u wish to really create gr8 designs......
Big companies need approvals from a lot of people ... lot of hassles .....

....
The Wagon R has start looking cool of late.... specially the close ups are real nice....with the back giving the feel of a people mover..........

......
the clk integration in the time office product is something that he likes........

RTM the new process to watch out.....

Membrame switch covers will probably become clear on saturday.

Emotional design
Emotion has always been, and will be, a part of design. Or for that matter just about anything we humans do. Even abstract or physical art sometimes moves us to lengths. Because as a people we are representative beings. We look for meaning, connections, representation in everything we see around us. Its one of themechanism by which we process and remember events

And emotional design doesn't have to be 'far away' from the marketing aspect. The 'wow' factor, after all, goes a long way in making one product sell over another, all other things being equals.

.......... as says some Sahilon the orkut forum.

what was it like .... 5th july2005

2005-07-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

The bottom line in industrial design is material......everything else is secondary.....
wanna be a cool industrial designer....start exploring materials...explore and feel it...
only once u get that feel that u can really create THE NEW.

Corel Draw, is by the way a interesting software, used it today (and yesterday) to create options for biosentry.
Its the software to create infinite cool quality illustrations.

Saw ' kung fu hustle' last night ......... typical chinki mvie ..kuch bhi hota hai....
rajnikant found his mmatch..a man who shoots himself point blank and then catches the bullet with his fingers.

and what was that we were discussing me and varun?? hmmm...should the world head wher it is heading?
is all the gadgetery and stuff right...with reference to cars having fandu navigation system.

and woman being unable to drive cars well enough...don't have patience it seems .. i doubt that claim though.

the historical difference between the classisist and romantisists ....still don't understand that well ....
have to read the Zen and art of motorcycle maintanence

And why to forget " Jonathan Livingston Seagull" ... when do i read it....may be this weekend.

and finally THE question " am i doing right joining Wipro" . i'll probably read this 1 yr frm now and find the answer.

"FEAR OF THE DARK" h hnhn h n hn hhnnhnhnh ............

Found this new man who seems hadd cool and inspiring " MARK NEWSON"
.....created a interior of some restaurant...designer+ techno innovations + interactions.....watch out for him
apart frm the apple man....

MAC revolution

2005-07-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Ive... vice president of industrial design at apple.....one of the most inspiring product designers of our times.

Thus spake he of his time at apple:

iMac - 1998 Our objective
was to design a computer for the consumer market that would be simple, easy to use, highly integrated, quiet and small.

We wanted it to be an unashamedly plastic product.

Typically, given our obsession with materials and production processes, we explored different polymers, moulding technologies, colour, texture, and levels of opacity.

When researching new processes we often find ourselves working with different industries. It was interesting working with a confectionery manufacturer. Their experience in the science of translucent colour control helped us understand processes to ensure consistency in high volume.

learning to write

2005-07-02T13:37:00.000-07:00

this is my first blog and first attempt at writing on the net.what follows is 'CRAP' of the highest order...so don't try to interpret.
there are so many thoughts floating in the ocean of my mind that i cant figure out which one to pursue. how important is it anyways to decide....how much control do i reallly have...is it me or the coincidences around me at work. how important is it really to work or do anything for that matter...... do i live for myself or for the people around me.. do i live for my present or my future......
is this who i am ..... or is this a compromise i have arrived at. times keep changing...so do the moods and feelings but that constant feeling of incompleteness remains.... what is it that is missing.....at all times ....with the best of freinds and in the lonliness without 'em....
all these paragraphs seem so incoherent but they have an underlying thread which will some day give me a way to understand what my mind is is...what is it that it is really after....
the distance between the concious and the uncounsious is so small ... between the real and the unreal is imaginary.
how can some people find their life in studying the smallest of creatures all their life and others can't be satisfied even after seeing the whole world round.
there is a basic essence a basic formula underlying everything which when discovered wil probably make life so boring...
life probably is about his search... that each of us has to go for..... there probably is the ocean in front of us and we all are trying to reach the horizons without realizing that there is in the end only the knowledge of the horizon .... and it only the limits of our knowledge nothing else..............

Shit man ...sab likha tha back dabaa ke udh gaya .... anyways fir kissi din lighenge
and thanks to Sammy ....uske blog padh ke aabhi likne ka mood hua...he write very well....